Why I Became a Relationship Coach

I’m a relationship coach that specializes in Ethical or Consensual Non-Monogamy. I first found out about the term around 2014, when I found myself deeply in love with two men at the same time. As someone who had been raised in the Bible Belt, I felt like there must be something wrong with me. It wasn’t just lust, it was genuine love that I felt for these two wildly different men. This wasn’t, however, my first foray into ENM. 

I had grown up knowing I was bisexual. I was lucky to have been able to experience the freedom of that within my heteronormative-looking relationships. It just wasn’t something that most people talk about outside of their marriage. I experienced the privilege of being able to be “normal” while also being in loving relationships with women. I had just determined that I was gay and that was that. But even those relationships and being bisexual didn’t prevent me from feeling immense amounts of guilt and shame surrounding my preferences and my body’s own biological responses to either gender. The development of feelings for multiple people, regardless of gender, had tormented my mind and emotions because I didn’t want to be seen outwardly as an “other” 

In my search for truth, after realizing I had fallen in love with two men, I stumbled across the term ‘Polyamory’ and the tremendous amount of relief I felt when I realized that I was not alone in this feeling of infinite love for others. Since then, I have been able to truly live my life out loud and in such a way that it has brought comfort and hope to others. I eventually, pursued Life Coaching with a specialization in Consensual Non-Monogamy. 

I believe the importance of being accepted and being able to have a supportive community, as well as resources, tremendously impacts the overall mental health of those that would otherwise be seen as “abnormal” or “sexually deviant”. Shame and guilt have been replaced by grace and compassion. Advocating for others to view the beauty of being able to choose relationships and greater family dynamics that work for their lives is my passion. 

Everyone deserves to be surrounded by love and support, honesty, and trust. Polyamory forces you to be honest and communicative. It forces you to work on your own self-awareness while being confronted with situations that are emotionally distressing. Unpacking the indoctrination of colonization within our interpersonal, romantic, and intimate relationships brings, in my opinion, a greater dedication to humanity and a sense of intentional love.

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